on the sad steps of a sad girl: you look great! have you lost weight?
ATTN: “You look great! Have you lost weight?” is not a compliment. I know it has been the go-to praise-route towards many women since the inception of puberty, but I’d like to put an end to it. Why do I hear this like a broken record every holiday?
Some alternatives:
- You look…
Speaking as someone that has lost a bit of weight recently, without trying or meaning to, I’m pleased when my friends that do comment, knowing my body issue struggles, have not said this, but instead said, “don’t take this wrong, but you’ve lost weight,” or something along those lines. it’s less of a “OMG YOU LOOK SO GREAT NOW THAT YOU’RE A DRESS SIZE SMALLER” and more of a statement of fact and unobtrusive questioning of how i feel about it. Classmates, too. it’s kind of refreshing.
For the record, yeah, i’ve lost a dress size, possibly more, no i wasn’t trying to, but i’m happy about it. Not because i have some thin ideal (lol, not built to be skinny and don’t want to be.), but because my curves are more pronounced and shopping is less of an emotional rollercoaster. I’ve struggled with body issues my entire life. yeah, i’ve lost a few pounds. but i’m a fat, short, curvy girl (barely five feet tall and a size 16 currently) and i don’t really want to not be. i try to be healthy and always have a positive outlook on my body (which considering my history is really really hard.) and the people i love realize that the smidge of weight loss i’ve had has, at this point in my life, nothing to do with trying to slim down to fit a mold, but i’m happy about it, and THAT is why they’re happy for me.
